


Soundless Moments

by PinkyOrangee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkwardness, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Mention of Lee Taeyong, No Plot/Plotless, Old Friends, i swear it's not that angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-11-22 12:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20874533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkyOrangee/pseuds/PinkyOrangee
Summary: They hadn't met for so many years, and yet, it seems like they still care about each other.





	1. Rainy Night

Doyoung was standing in his kitchen, staring at the kettle, which wasn’t even on, without even actually looking at it. He has spent his entire day studying and working on projects, and his mind was now completely blank. Thank god, his primary functions were still working and the feeling of thirst led him to the small cooking area of his apartment. It was really late, probably around ten in the evening. The sound of the rain falling down heavily outside filled his silent house. It was one of those rainy nights where no one should be out unless you wanted to be drenched to the bones. The young man was about to reach his box of chamomilla when the doorbell rang. 

He was really surprised firstly because he wasn’t expecting anyone, even more at this time of the day but mostly because he couldn’t imagine someone going through the diluvian rain to knock at his door. Doyoung dragged his feet to the entrance and answered the intercom. 

“Hello ?” his voice was sounding unsure and dry, proof that he didn’t speak to anyone today.

“Doie-Doyoung…” 

The later knew this voice too well, even though he didn’t hear it almost six years now, he could recognize it anywhere. Doyoung was completely taken aback, so much that he even forgot to answer to his interlocutor. 

“I apologize for the inconvenience, I might have mistaken your house for someone else’s…” He was spacing out but this sentence took his attention back to the intercom. 

“Jaehyun” 

It was the only word he could pronounce. The silence was the only answer, which was enough for him to understand that he was right about the identity of the mysterious interlocutor. 

“Jae-”

“Doyoung, I’m sorry” Jaehyun interrupted him. 

“What are you doing here ?” 

Once again, the silence was left between them. Doyoung wasn’t feeling any resentment toward the other. Time has flown now, and he was the kind of person who wouldn’t live in the past even when the scars left were still deep into his soul. And after all that happened and all this time, he was still feeling concerned about Jaehyun. 

“Doy-”

“Wait I’m coming”

Doyoung didn’t know why he was acting like this. He really wasn’t sure of what he was doing but Doyoung knew that he was acting out of old memories leftovers. He looked for his keys after throwing a coat over his pajamas, he didn’t even bother to put his shoes on and went out of his apartment wearing his slippers. The young man lived on the second floor but the elevator ride felt like a century. Doyoung was lost in his thoughts, holding the sleeves of his coat as if he was holding someone’s life between his hands. He really didn’t understand why he was like this; maybe it was the tiredness or the unexpected visit. The elevator doors finally opened and let him escape from the small space. This is when he saw him, standing in front of the building, bouncing from one side to the other in an attempt to feel some heat, arms crossed across his own body. 

Jaehyun didn’t change a bit, Doyoung thought. Still the same face, with the same look in the eyes, although they seemed less lively than what they used to be. He made his way to the glass door and opened it with shaking hands. The sound of the lock turning caught Jaehyun attention, who was finally looking at him. 

It was like time stopped between them. They weren’t even looking at each other's faces, their feet suddenly seemed way more interesting than the human being standing in front of them. Jaehyun stopped bouncing, only his chattering teeth were betraying him.

“Why are you here ?”

Doyoung gathered all of his last pieces of courage to ask him this question. Jaehyun raised his head, making eye contact with the other. 

“I don’t know”

Silence. 

The sound of the rain was getting louder in their ears seconds by seconds. 

“I don’t know why I’m here, I just, followed my instinct I suppose? I...I don’t have anywhere to go anyway”

Doyoung stared at him, with an unreadable expression on his face. Jaehyun was lost, anyone could see it with just a glance at him. He was completely devoid of motivation. 

The brunette brain went in autopilot mode, he wasn’t fully conscious of the way he was acting nor the decisions he was making. 

“Come in”

Doyoung turned around, opening the glass door once again, and headed to the elevator without even checking if Jaehyun was actually following him. 

The elevator ride was awkward. Any of the two men wanted to initiate the conversation, although there wasn’t anything to be said. When they arrived at Doyoung’s home, none of them knew what was supposed to happen next.

The night brings counsel, they say. 

“You can take the couch...” Doyoung said softly, taking his coat off “I’ll bring you clean clothes”.

Jaehyun nodded and put his backpack on the floor. He stood beside the window, waiting for Doyoung to come back. 

“Here”

The later put some pants and a folded t-shirt on the armrest of the sofa, avoiding diligently Jaehyun’s eyes. 

“Thank you” he murmured.

The atmosphere in the living room was odd, Doyoung just wanted to leave the space as soon as he could. He took a few steps back before stopping himself. Jaehyun noticed and frowned his eyebrows, slowly raising his eyes. Doyoung turned his head, looking at the young man above his shoulder. 

“How did you know that I lived here ?” 

Jaehyun straighten his back before answering. 

“I came with Taeyong two years ago I think, I stayed in the car while he was dropping something to you”

“I could have moved out”

“I know, I just really wished that you did not”

The rain filled the gap between them once again. 

“So you are still talking to Taeyong ?” 

“We hang out sometimes”

Doyoung hummed before turning his head and leaving the space. 

He was staring at the kettle again, waiting for the water to boil. He reached two mugs and took his box of chamomilla. He was processing everything, matching each move, each eye contact exchanged in their short interaction with what happened between them during their senior year of high school. 

They knew each other since they were toddlers and were inseparable since then, well, at least until they were eighteen. Yes, Jaehyun acted like a jerk, and it led them to broke their friendship and cut things off. They eventually became strangers to each other, it hurt both of them, but it was necessary. Doyoung often thought about how those years were like for him. They had a lot of good memories together, full of joy, innocence, and teenage jokes, but the whole situation became toxic for the two boys. So they grew apart from each other and took their own way in life. 

Doyoung was heartbroken back then, but he learned from it, about himself, about Jaehyun, about others. 

The boiling water brings him back from his reflexions. Doyoung exhaled deeply, stealing glances at the man sitting on his couch. Jaehyun looked exhausted. His hair was now dyed in light pink, Doyoung didn’t notice earlier, “strangely, it suits him” he thought. 

After pouring the water into the cups, he took the both of them and went back to the living room. He put down one of the two mugs on the coffee table in front of Jaehyun without a glance.

“Good Night”

“Night”

He nodded and headed to his room, feeling the urge to isolate himself until the next morning. 

When Doyoung closed the door of his bedroom, he realized that he was holding his breath since maybe the moment he heard Jaehyun’s voice.


	2. Sunny Morning

His head felt like a stone. He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids were heavy. The sun was hitting his face and slowly warmed his cheeks. It was nice at first, but when the light blinded him, he realized he should have closed the curtains. 

It took a few minutes for Jaehyun to realize where he was, he wasn’t able to recognize any of the furniture or walls around him. Jaehyun was lying on an unknown couch, which belongs to his childhood friend Doyoung. He looked around, remembering the events of the past evening. 

“Oh”

He didn’t want to move. 

His back felt sore and his muscles tense. It was like he didn’t have control over his own body anymore. 

Survival instincts. 

He knew that he shouldn’t be here, and his body was here to remind it. Jaehyun thought of what should be his next action. He could no longer stay under this roof, it was too painful. 

He saw the look in Doyoung eyes when their eyes crossed, he heard how his breath stopped then got louder when he answered the intercom. He knew that his presence re-opened the wounds for the two young men, which was never his intention. 

But he missed him. Jaehyun missed having Doyoung in his life. 

The pink-haired boy thought for the longest time that his own wound was closed by now, but seeing Doyoung made him realize how it wasn’t the case at all. It seemed like the later was doing better than him actually. 

The sounds of curtains running on the racks resonated in the living room. Doyoung was up, which meant that it is too late for him to leave now. Jaehyun listened to his old friend rummaging in his room, going back and forth. Finally, the rumor stopped and the bedroom door opened quietly. Doyoung emerged from his room, his steps as light as a feather. His silhouette was standing straight, moving around like he wasn’t even touching the floor. Jaehyun watched him in silence, trying to absorb each of his moves. As far as Jaehyun could remember, Doyoung has always had this slender walk; He moves around like he owned every place like he belongs everywhere but still wants to disappear into the decors at the same time, for the sake of discretion.

Their looks crossed. 

Jaehyun gulped, Doyoung titled his head a little.

“Good morning”

He didn’t say it back right away, his mouth felt so dry, the words didn’t want to leave.

“Good morning” Jaehyun finally mumbled

The brunette was now slowly heading to his kitchen. 

“Breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

And that was all. 

Jaehyun was really confused about Doyoung behavior. Actually, no, he was confused about his own. He didn’t know how to act around him anymore.

“I’m sorry but I don’t have coffee”

Doyoung’s voice interrupted the thread of his thoughts. He was now standing in the door frame. 

“I’m not surprised”

Doyoung chuckled, shaking his head.

“The bathroom is on your left” Jaehyun nodded, “I’ll be in the kitchen” he murmured, stroking his arm while turning his feet toward the said space.

Jaehyun was aggressively washing his face. The water was cold, it made him feel awake. He looked in the mirror, trailing his eyes on his dark circle and his damped shirt. Jaehyun was panting. He felt overwhelmed, both positively and negatively. He realized that he never thought about how their meeting would be. Jaehyun actually never thought about meeting Doyoung again but he was glad it happened. He was glad that he was able to see his childhood friend once again, glad that Doyoung was doing well. 

The young male exhaled deeply, straighten his posture, and looked right at his reflection. Doyoung was still Doyoung, and Jaehyun was still Jaehyun. Their essence is still the same, things couldn’t go worse than last time. He desperately wished that things couldn’t go worse. 

He tried to be as determined as he could but he slowed his pace as soon as he stood in the living room.

Jaehyun took a first glimpse of the cooking space, trying to visualize Doyoung without him being aware of the younger presence. Still trying to keep his composure, the man carefully stepped further.

The sunlight was illuminating the kitchen, reflecting on the tiles covering the floor. He watched Doyoung's shadow moving, creating a pattern on the table’s feet. When Jaehyun finally took a full look at the space, he found Doyoung busying himself, opening the cabinet’s door, reaching for some box.

Jaehyun tried his best to not disturb the other in his process. The young man felt intrusive, like he was too much. He carefully stood between the wall beside him and a chair, very still, not daring to venture into Doyoung’s routine. 

“That’s stupid” he thought “he’s just making…”

“I made hot chocolate, I hope it’s okay” 

Doyoung’s sentence was punctuated by singing birds. 

Jaehyun just nodded when his old friend when he took a quick glance at him. 

“Sit, seeing you standing like that is stressing me out”

Jaehyun did move toward the chair, but his politeness reminded him to wait for his host. 

Another excuse.

Doyoung put a tray on the table and sat on the wooden chair with a furtive look on the man awkwardly standing in front of him. Jaehyun finally settled himself on the chair, sitting across Doyoung. This was the closest they have been since yesterday night and Jaehyun could feel Doyoung’s piercing gaze all over him.

The brunette peacefully put a steaming mug in front of Jaehyun without a word. The smell of cinnamon was lingering in the air. It was still the same hot chocolate, made with bitter cocoa and a hint of whipped cream, exactly the way Jaehyun remembers. 

Jaehyun was slightly leaning back as if the small kitchen table was a battlefield where none of the young men dared to lay feet. 

If Jaehyun tried his best to avoid Doyoung's eyes, the later was trying to hold his head up as much as possible. Doyoung had to admit that he was quite disturbed by the man's presence. Of course, hosting Jaehyun was his decision but memories of their relationship remained in the back of his head. 

He could not show any sign of weakness or regrets, he felt like he had to remain true to himself and what he believes in which is forgiveness. In this very case, Doyoung was not. Surely he forgot about the events - in some aspects - but did he really forgave Jaehyun? He wasn't quite sure. 

As he grew up during these last years, his feud with Jaehyun felt pretty much like a kid bickering. They were young, they were stupid, but they also were hurt. Both of them said things that shouldn't have been said, they had thoughts that shouldn't have been thought. Maybe it was their lack of maturity or maybe their leftovers of immaturity but both of the young men went through some bad places. 

"I probably have my fair share of mistakes after all" 

Jaehyun hummed, curious, confused. He took a glimpse at Doyoung and realized that he was just spacing out. 

Jaehyun didn't respond, reported his gaze at the shadows on the floor. How come things were still that hard between them? 

It used to be easy, it used to be natural, but now it's just nothing else but odd. 

"How is your brother?"

The pink-haired attention flickered at the sudden question. 

"How is your's?" 

A small smile drew on Doyoung's face. He shrugged. 

"Fine"

The singing birds seemed so loud at this very moment; it was almost like they were trying to fill the silence and relieve the tension between the two young men.

The atmosphere was peculiar. He watched the birds outside flying over the fence and disappearing behind the building. Everything in the room felt like Doyoung: the glass jar filled with cereals, the dishes messily standing against each other and dripping with water, the apron hanging against the door. Everything was in place and yet so fragile. Jaehyun eyes were instantly attracted to the blue shape in the corner, next to the jars. It was a mug, something he forgot about but was real, vivid to Jaehyun nonetheless.

“You still have it?”

Doyoung hummed in interrogation. 

“The mug” He said while nodding to the pile of jars. 

He opened his mouth, in a sign of his surprise, then turned his head to look at the mug.

“I didn’t know what to do with it, I eventually forgot that it was yours”

“I see”

It seemed like there were many birds outside. 

They ate in silence, the sun slowly rising behind them. The kitchen was now completely illuminated. The birds were still singing and none of the two men were talking. 

Their meal was a way for them to seal their past. They were in their own bubble, maybe sharing the same or maybe each one on their own? At least they were together and maybe, it was enough. Jaehyun didn’t want to disturb the calmness, so he just sat and waited, not knowing how to fill the gap between them. If you asked him how long they seated at this table, none of them would give an answer, at least that was Jaehyun point of view. 

Jaehyun was about to take another bite when his phone started to ring in the living room.

“It’s yours, you should answer” Doyoung said.

So Jaehyun did. 

He stood up and went for his phone, which was still ringing. Doyoung didn’t seem to care about the other leaving the meal, he just kept munching his food without any words. 

Jaehyun was hesitant, should he answer right away or wait until he leaves the house?

Fortunately, he did not have time to think more: the ringing stopped, a message notification resonated a few seconds after. 

“I think this is my cue to leave ?”

Doyoung carefully put his spoon down before raising his head to look at Jaehyun and his phone. 

“It seems like it”

Silence won this time again. 

They were standing in Doyoung entrance, one putting his shoes on, the other just watching him. Jaehyun wanted to say something. He wished that everything would not conclude like that. He felt incredibly grateful toward Doyoung. If it wasn’t for him, he wouldn’t even have a meal this morning. He wouldn’t probably even have slept at all. Jaehyun could see the care in Doyoung gaze. He could feel the empathy that the other felt for him. But he couldn’t pronounce any words. 

He just left everything the way they were: silent, unfinished. 

Without any conclusion.

“You have everything ?” Doyoung asked

“I guess so”

Jaehyun played with the strap of his backpack.

“Well, if you forgot anything, it’s not lost anyway”

He nodded. 

He looked at Doyoung, standing in the door frame with his whole small universe behind him. Jaehyun quickly looked behind him: it was only white walls and an elevator. 

“Thank you, for everything”

Doyoung chuckled before looking right in his eyes.

“It’s nothing”

He meant it. 

Jaehyun waved at him even though he was still in front of the man. He walked backward for a few steps before turning and facing the elevator. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. 

Once he was standing in the middle of the metallic walls, he looked at Doyoung one last time. The later was still standing at the very end of his entrance, holding the door. He nodded, quickly smiling, and slowly started to close his door. Jaehyun hoped that Doyoung saw him trying to return his smile, but the doors of the elevator closed before Jaehyun could hear the lock of Doyoung’s front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are reading this note : thank you!


End file.
